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True Self / False Self !
True selfTrue self - as we were born to be, before we developed an alter ego. The reflection we see in a peaceful scene of nature, standing on our own, but not alone, at one with all that surrounds us. Truth, like beauty it is said, lies in the eye of the beholder. However there are three versions of truth : -
Here we are using logical truth as applied to yourself! That, and only that which you brought with you to this life is who and what you are meant to be.
 False selfBeing what others expect of us. Trying to impress other people. Working the pecking order in family, society, workplace etc. Playing ego games. Projecting an identity.
In other words - false self is trying to be somebody - (else)!! Personal development note : For heavens sake, you already are somebody. If you don't stop trying to be someone else you will eventually lose sight of true self - of who you really are. Look, it goes like this: other people see in you a reflection, or a projection of themselves. They do not see who you are. They do not want to see who you are. They are too busy showing you who they are, too busy playing their own ego games, too busy trying to think of what to say next! So stop trying to impress people - they don't care! Personal development notes : Don't worry about what other people think - they don't do it very often.Mind over matter - If you don't mind what others think, then what they think doesn't matter! The lesson - discover who we really are! Who is your true self? So ask - "WHO AM I"? Do you know? Do you care? Well you had better care because when it comes down to it - you, your true self is all that you really have! Forget what others have told you who they think you are - that is a reflection of them - and that is their problem. Personal development note : If you want to know what someone thinks about them self, ask them their opinion of someone else - they will tell you all about themselves because in their opinion of others, they see a reflection or a projection of them self. Who you are has little to do with:
It does have something to do with who your friends are - because in them you see a reflection of yourself. It does have something to do with your perception of beauty - because in beauty you see a reflection of yourself. It does have something to do with nature - because here your reflection is non judgmental. It does have something to do with the questions you ask. A persons questions reveal more about them than their answers. The final answer is - I am who I am and that is all I need! The previous insight pages of - should provide you with a well defined picture of who you are. (To define yourself is to limit yourself)! PreferencesTo return to our definition of self from the Self Help page :
Your thoughts and emotional interaction with the world comprise your ego, that which other people see as being you. Your ego is your expression of self. It also contains a built in defense mechanism developed over a lifetime of mental and verbal attack. Your ego is there to protect you! If over developed, this defense mechanism not only protects you but prevents you from showing your true self, who you really are, because that is what you have taught it to do. Now we have to unteach it :
These perceived threats trigger negative emotions which add to the emotional baggage we carry. No one can hurt you but you! You can only hurt yourself by taking hurt or offense at someone else's words. Personal development note : Yep, we are back at self responsibility again! It is as simple as not taking the words of others on board, ie. remaining true self. But how? Easier said than done! Very much easier said than done! Hurt comes from when you place expectations on other people and situations. When you addictively demand an outcome, you are going to be hurt when the outcome is not realized because you have invested all your personal capital in that outcome or situation. Do not expect! Do not demand! Prefer! Expectations and demands are addictions. We are addictively demanding or expecting something to come to pass - or else! Or else we are going to get upset, become angry, be disappointed, or otherwise take offense etc. etc. - you get the idea! When you prefer an outcome, you will not be emotionally upset if it does not come to be! No!Can you take no for an answer? Can you say no when you mean no? No is not a rejection of you! No simply represents a situation which is not going to be. Upset, anger, and disappointments are all self inflicted injuries!! They are the result of addictive demands. Emotional Hooks.One form of addictive demand is when we emotionally hook other people - usually those who are close to us. An emotional hook is when we impose an expectation on somebody, ie.
This form of addictive demand is a destroyer of relationships. Preferences on the other hand, are the willow sapling which bends before the wind. I would prefer that you took this advice on board.
But you do not have to - it is your life!  
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