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Your Self Esteem





A high self esteem means feeling good about yourself, not just when you have been praised for something, but all the time.

It is the way you look at yourself for who you are.

However, it is something more fundamental than the normal "ups and downs" associated with life. For people with good basic self-esteem, normal "ups and downs" may lead to temporary swings in how they feel about themselves, but only to a limited extent.

In contrast, for people with a low self-esteem, these "ups and downs" may make all the difference in the world.

The fact that you are accessing this personal development site speaks volumes about the value which you have placed upon yourself. It shows that you realise that you are worthy of getting the most you can out of life, to be the best you can.

A good Self Esteem means

  • Belief in Yourself.
  • Self Respect.
  • Personal Worth.
  • Sense of Purpose.
  • Sense of Belonging.
  • Self Confidence
  • Self Image.

In short - this is the way in which you talk to yourself about yourself.

The first self help step in building (improving) your Self respect is to accept yourself just as you are - right now. (Warts and all).

There is not one of us who can not benefit from some improvement in our Self image, not that I am suggesting for one moment that there is anything wrong with your present level of esteem, just that more is better!

No matter how well we get to know ourselves, there is more to learn, particularly as we grow and develop the picture is ever changing.

One measure of our Self image is provided by what we see in other people. In others we tend to see a reflection (or a projection) of ourselves.

For instance, you cannot like others if you don't first like yourself.

If you see a character trait you don't like in someone else then you are seeing a reflection of a character trait of you own which you do not like. Likewise, when you see a character trait you like in someone else then you are seeing something you like about yourself.

Being aware of these reflections is about recognizing who you are. Negatives which show up can be handled later, just learning a little more about your own character is what this article calls for.

Be Master of Your Life is primarily about putting you in control of your life. It is by your own choices that you live with happiness and fulfillment in a successful life. After all, you deserve it!

When you feel deserving - then the Law of Attraction comes into operation and you attract your desires. Such is the power of a high Self Esteem! It is the road to success.

Note : deservedness, along with gratitude and expectation are key requirements for the operation of the Law of Attraction.



Actually a high Self Esteem is when we are free of an acquired low Self Esteem.

Causes of Low Self Esteem
  • Being Criticised.
  • Not receiving :
    • Affection
    • Encouragement
    • Support
  • Being, or having been :
    • Teased
    • Ridiculed
    • Punished
    • Shamed
    • Ignored
    • Compared unfavorably
    • Threatened
    • Abandoned
    • Rejected
    • Victimized
  • Living continually in the past/future
  • Comparing yourself to others

That seems to cover most of what many people experience to some extent during their formative years.

Note : These are causes, not excuses for blame.

The result of low Self Esteem is usually the underlying cause of most cases which involve the following disorders :

  • Fear, Anxiety, Anger.
  • Panic Attacks
  • Dependence and lack of assertiveness
  • Depression
  • Eating Disorders
  • Violent behaviors
  • Addictive behaviors
  • Relationship problems, abuse

All these behaviors are symptoms! The result is to block the flow of success and abundance.


Probably the definitive word on the subject is this poem by Dorothy Law Nolte, Ph.D.




Children Learn What They Live.

If children live with criticism, they learn to condemn.

If children live with hostility, they learn to fight.

If children live with fear, they learn to be apprehensive.

If children live with pity, they learn to feel sorry for themselves.

If children live with ridicule, they learn to feel shy.

If children live with jealousy, they learn to feel envy.

If children live with shame, they learn to feel guilty.

If children live with encouragement, they learn confidence.

If children live with tolerance, they learn patience.

If children live with praise, they learn appreciation.

If children live with acceptance, they learn to love.

If children live with approval, they learn to like themselves.

If children live with recognition, they learn it is good to have a goal.

If children live with sharing, they learn generosity.

If children live with honesty, they learn truthfulness.

If children live with fairness, they learn justice.

If children live with kindness and consideration, they learn respect.

If children live with security, they learn to have faith in themselves and in those about them.

If children live with friendliness, they learn the world is a nice place in which to live.

Copyright © 1972 by Dorothy Law Nolte.




Every time you achieve a goal, every time you overcome a fear or phobia and every time you choose a positive over a negative - you feel good because you are improving your self esteem. As they say, "Nothing succeeds like success", and that's the feeling we want to cultivate.



The Seven Pillars of Self Esteem
  • 1. Living Consciously.
  • 2. Self Acceptance.
  • 3. Self Responsibility.
  • 4. Self assertiveness.
  • 5. Living Purposefully.
  • 6. Personal Integrity.
  • 7. Courage.

(Actually, all the textbooks list these as the six pillars , the addition of the seventh - courage - is mine).

Take a look at the type of friends you attract - they are your mirror. Do they all have problems, or are they successfully happy people.

Remember the Law of Attraction works for negatives as well as positives. Just as happy successful people attract happy successful people, people with unresolved problems attract people with unresolved problems.

Self Esteem needs to be cultivated** - this is why the concept of personal development is so important - the basis of improving your own Self Awareness is you helping you.

Walk Tall With Confidence.





Further Resources :






Key To Self Confidence A Concise friendly guide with proven tips and techniques for building self confidence. You'll be surprised how stimulating and enjoyable the process can be.



Higher Self Esteem and More... If you have been yearning to create super charged confidence, passion and generate positive life success and attraction, browse this site for more information and programs.




Selfesteem2go
This is YOUR self-esteem building website. It has been created to give you a better understanding of who you are, what the reasons are behind your conscious and unconscious activity and how they affect your SELF ESTEEM and self confidence on a daily basis.



StageCalm A comprehensive online suite of tools, resources and articles that will really make a difference to your confidence on stage or in front of an audience - whether it be fronting a band or giving a speech.





Consistent parenting advice is vitally important for creating happy families. This is where self esteem begins. This site is a valuable parenting resource.





Return from Self Esteem



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