Human Nature

Our human nature - Now we are getting down and personal!

This is how we act and react with others around us - our interpersonal relationships, our patterns of behaviour. In other words - the games we play.

It is our personality in action, our choices of relationship type.

Note : Your behavior patterns are a matter of choice, your choice.

We all have our human nature issues! I am discussing behaviors to which we seem to be addicted.

These are not addictions to addictive (or otherwise) substances - drugs, alcohol, nicotine etc.

For those you can get help.

The process of addiction is the same - an emotional rush from hormones and peptides to the cells of our body. It matters little to our body whether the source of the rush is external substances or internally produced hormonal stimulants.

Addiction is characterized by the repeated use of substances or behaviour patterns to achieve a high. So whether the high is produced by substances or behaviour, the addiction is to the feeling.

Human Nature note :

Gary Craig - Founder of EFT.

Behaviour

Try these behaviours for size :

• Talking (for the sake of it)
• Always being right (at all costs)
• Criticizing (we always know better)
• Drama (lets have a little excitement)
• Conflict (lets show who's boss)

• Confrontation (listen pal)
• Arguing
• Uproar
• Shopping (retail therapy)
• Gambling (maybe I'll get lucky)
• Food - (the refrigerator raider)
• Work (I'm so busy I just don't have time)
• Sex
• Any compulsive behavior

Any of these look familiar? (I have another 50 or so if you need them).

Why do we find ourselves in these same situations again and again - because we are addicted to these behaviours.

Why do we think that life would be dull without a good argument or conflict or whatever?

Does it makes life more exciting?

Could we live life with out a little drama?

If we didn't talk compulsively would we fade away, not be noticed?

If we were not right all the time, might we be judged to be inferior or un-interesting?

Isn't this our personality?

Might we lose our personality if we were less exciting?

But - but - but .....

Thus we precipitate situations which are tailor made to pander to our addictions - we play games!

Ok, so it’s only human nature, but remember – it’s your choice.

Remember the lower three levels of consciousness :

• Security
• Sensation
• Power

Well guess where these behaviors place us?

Again and again we manifest situations which cater to our addictions. O.K. so its just human nature - but not when you are Master of Your Life.

Circles of Life

Step back and take a look at the situations which keep re-occurring in your life.
Those problems which seem to characterize your life.
That circle of events you seem to keep repeating.

Could it be that there is a lesson there. I'm sure there was nothing in your meaning of life contract that said you had to go round in circles!

It is normal to create a comfort zone in which we feel secure and free to pursue our behavioral addictions.

We select our friends and condition our family to support our addictions and play our games. Of course this is a reciprocal arrangement, in turn we are expected to support their addictions and play their games.

In fact when we try to step outside our comfort zone, to change and grow, we are likely to be met with hostility - for wanting to be different, not one of the gang, - it's not like that in 'our family, our circle, our group' etc...

It is your choice.

At any time you can choose not to play those games.

You will probably be regarded as a so and so individual - however it's your life.

Are you going to live it your way, or have others live it for you!?

That decision is one of human natures little dilemmas.

When dealing with people outside our family and circle of friends, outside our comfort zone, we can be polite, understanding and helpful. Strangers do not place the same human nature expectations on us as the family and friends - we do not have to play our little power games.

For those of you who live in a "personality culture", note that your personality is you shining through. It is not some game or identity that you project as the occasion demands!

The Games we Play:

Often the games we play are innocuous, in fact they may closely follow a cultural script such as the greeting game - "Hello, how are you", which is inveriably met with the scripted response - "Very well thank you". (lets face it, we don't really want them to tell us how they are)!

The guest game - "Thank you for inviting me, I had a wonderful time".

The host game - "Thank you for coming, you have been most welcome".

And so on, with minor variations depending on the local culture.

Such games are a harmless or even supportive exchange of good manners in our everyday social contact.

However, not all games are so benign.

Many games are played on a deeper psychological level, and are forms of manipulation, blackmail, control and exercise of power.

A person who is "straight up", ie. says what they mean and mean what they say, can be taken at face value, we know where we stand.

However, be aware that many people play "mind games". They are not what they appear to be.

There is no place for mind games, sarcasm etc. in the life of anyone who wishes to Be Master of Your Life.

See Positive Words.

Further Resources :

Alternative Online Counseling
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